Jeux D'esprit
by Yilena
Summary: A string of aggressive messages from a wrong number turns into Nathaniel befriending a mysterious girl with a colourful vocabulary. Along with their terrible nicknames and inside jokes, he shares more than his art with her. AU.


**AN:** Hi, Moon! Thank you so much for requesting this, I hope it's everything you wanted. I wanted to cry when editing all the timestamps because I decided to add them all in at the end instead of being smart, fuck. I'm going to have nightmares about it for weeks. I don't really know Nathaniel's character, so this might be a bit iffy? Also all the different spellings for Nathaniel's name frustrate me. Teasers for upcoming stories can be found on my tumblr ( _xiueryn_ ).

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

Nathaniel felt the eyes of the rest of the class on him as he tried to reach into his backpack, attempting to locate his cell phone to stop the sound of his ringtone. He'd been too busy running late to turn it to silent that day, red-coloured hair still damp and hastily pulled into a ponytail at his nape to save time when he'd rushed through the classroom door.

It didn't help that he'd put the same shirt on from yesterday, the one that was covered in paint.

When he'd managed to fumble and turn the device off for the time being, his face felt warm as he offered an awkward, "Sorry."

Afterwards, when he'd gathered his belongings and waited in a queue to get lunch, he turned his phone back on, bewildered by the amount of notifications that were popping. A few were from his class-mates, wondering where he was, but the large majority of them were from an unknown number.

 **(09:05) from unknown:  
** _dont forget my coffee order this time_

 **(09:05) from unknown:  
** _if its wrong again i will fire you_

 **(09:06) from unknown:  
** _im not kidding._

 **(09:15) from unknown:  
** _where the fuck are you_

 **(09:16) from unknown:  
** _your pale ass is gone_

 **(09:17) from unknown:  
** _get ready to go back to knitting_

 **(09:17) from unknown:  
** _or whatever your dumbass did before me_

 **(09:23) from unknown:**  
 _i can fucking see you through the glass_

 **(09:24) from unknown:  
** _youre talking to a fuckboy_

 **(09:24) from unknown:**  
 _what is wrong with you..._

 **(09:25) from unknown:  
** _i hired you to feed me coffee and youre flirting badly_

 **(09:29) from unknown:**  
 _im asking for an uglier assistant next time_

 **(12:49) to unknown:  
** _This isn't the pale ass you're looking for._

 **(13:01) from unknown:**  
 _stop talking to me i fired you_

 **(13:06) to unknown:  
** _I haven't spoken to any fuckboys yet today._

 **(13:07) from unknown:  
** _dont try and defend your bad choices_

 **(13:07) from unknown:  
** _and i mean bad._

 **(13:10) to unknown:  
** _He can't be that bad._

 **(13:11) from unknown:  
** _he cried when he fell over and cut his knee_

 **(13:11) from unknown:  
** _and lets not forget his beautiful haircut_

 **(13:13) to unknown:  
** _So he's a sensitive guy with great hair?_

 **(13:13) from unknown:  
** _its sarcasm you idiot_

 **(13:14) from unknown:  
** _you dont understand my jokes_

 **(13:14) from unknown:  
** _this is why you had to go_

 **(13:20) to unknown:  
** _I thought it was because I couldn't get your complicated coffee right?_

 **(13:23) from unknown:  
** _its literally your job to please me_

 **(13:23) from unknown:  
** _when i bet you cant even please your parents_

 **(13:47) to unknown:  
** _Don't you mean was?_

 **(13:48) to unknown:  
** _And as fun as this has been, you've got the wrong number._

 **(13:48) to unknown:  
** _You might want to hire your assistant again._

 **(13:50) from unknown:  
** _what the fuck_

Well, that was one way to cheer him up.

Nathaniel checked his phone a few times during the way, just to see whether the stranger had replied, but it became clear that they had no intention to. Still, it made an amusing story to tell to his friends later on, especially when they asked to see whether he was making it up or not.

That was the only change from his usual day for almost a week. Nathaniel trudged to classes when he had to—not with wet hair again, and he definitely wore better clothing—did the work for his projects that he had to, then finished a commission that he'd gotten the previous week for a drawing online. As he hadn't been awarded a scholarship like he'd wanted in the beginning, it was the best way to make up for him not having time to find a local part-time job that would benefit him.

It was in the middle of the following week when the number messaged him again.

 **(14:02) from unknown:  
** _i made the mistake of hiring her back_

 **(14:02) from unknown:  
** _and shes with the fuckboy..._

 **(14:15) to unknown:  
** _I can't say I was expecting to hear from you again._

 **(14:16) from unknown:  
** _its your fault im dealing with this_

 **(14:17) from unknown:  
** _she thinks i fucking like her now_

 **(14:28) to unknown:  
** _You like her enough to comment on who she's flirting with._

 **(14:30) from unknown:  
** _her attention should be on me_

 **(14:31) from unknown:  
** _not the dumbass receptionist that gawks at anyone slightly pretty_

 **(14:37) to unknown:  
** _Does that mean she's at least slightly pretty?_

 **(14:28) from unknown:  
** _pretty fucking bad._

 **(14:35) to unknown:  
** _That's pretty rude of you._

 **(14:38) from unknown:  
** _talking to you was a mistake_

 **(14:38) from unknown:  
** _but im sure someones already said that to you before_

 **(14:41) to unknown:  
** _Pretty much everyone._

 **(14:45) from unknown:  
** _theres a reason for that_

 **(14:57) to unknown:  
** _Shouldn't you get back to ruining your assistant's romance?_

 **(15:00) from unknown:  
** _fuckboy just told her that ive never unfired someone before_

 **(15:00) from unknown:  
** _im going to murder them both_

 **(15:04) to unknown:  
** _Maybe don't tell me that, stranger. I don't want to be an accomplice._

 **(16:06) from unknown:  
** _blood has to be shed for your mistakes_

 **(16:09) to unknown:  
** _Technically, you got the number wrong, not me._

 **(16:11) from unknown:  
** _when you see the news youll know it was me_

 **(16:15) to unknown:  
** _I don't know anything about you. Other than that you might be middle-aged._

 **(16:19) from unknown:  
** _youre the one typing like a fucking grandma_

 **(16:19) from unknown:  
** _i bet you knit sweaters for your cats in your free time_

 **(16:29) to unknown:  
** _That's oddly specific._

 **(16:30) from unknown:  
** _am i wrong tho_

 **(16:34) to unknown:  
** _I don't own a cat._

 **(16:37) from unknown:  
** _but you know how to knit dont you grandma_

 **(16:41) to unknown:  
** _This is feeling very judgemental._

 **(16:44) from unknown:  
** _sabrina gave me knitted socks on her first day_

 **(16:45) from unknown:  
** _they had holes in them and i think shes colourblind_

 **(16:59) to unknown:  
** _That was sweet of her. Is Sabrina your assistant?_

 **(17:10) from unknown:  
** _sabrian is my mistake_

 **(17:11) to unknown:  
** _Sabrian._

 **(17:11) from unknown:  
** _i will end you_

 **(17:13) to unknown:  
** _When you introduce her to someone, do you say this is a Brian?_

 **(17:17) from unknown:  
** _maybe if you spent less time being a nerd_

 **(17:17) from unknown:  
** _youd be as successful as me_

 **(17:20) to unknown:  
** _I know nothing about you._

 **(17:22) from unknown:  
** _i have an assistant while you have gross knitting needles_

 **(17:25) to unknown:  
** _You're really hung up about knitting, aren't you?_

 **(17:26) from unknown:  
** _have you ever read a murder with them needles_

 **(17:26) from unknown:  
** _because youre about to_

As strange as it was, they continued talking. The conversations were never serious—the most serious had been when they'd thought he was Sabrina, but even then the threats had been humorous—and they entertained him throughout the days. Nathaniel found himself enjoying them, lips curling into a fond smile when he read each of the insults or sharp comments that always came across as an angry child rather than someone threatening.

It didn't turn out so well when he tried to tell them that, though.

 **(19:47) to unknown:  
** _I can't take you seriously when you threaten to kill someone every day now._

 **(19:59) from unknown:  
** _im creative_

 **(20:02) to unknown:  
** _You said you'd kill Brian with your sunglasses yesterday. Designer ones, too._

 **(20:03) from unknown:  
** _its so you know im successful at others things than murder_

 **(20:03) from unknown:  
** _like earning enough money to buy my own clothing_

 **(20:05) to unknown:  
** _Invest in a creative writing course. It'll help with the mafia vibe you're trying to have._

 **(20:10) from unknown:  
** _first of all_

 **(20:10) from unknown:  
** _we both know id look great in a pinstripe suit_

 **(20:11) to unknown:  
** _I'm sure you would, wrinkles and all._

 **(20:12) from unknown:  
** _what the fuck_

 **(20:13) to unknown:  
** _I'm calling you old._

 **(20:14) from unknown:  
** _weve been talking two weeks and you think im old?_

 **(20:18) to unknown:  
** _Wow, question marks. And you still think I'm a grandma._

 **(20:18) from unknown:  
** _ive decided youre just a teenage girl thats really into learning_

 **(20:20) to unknown:  
** _All of what you just said is wrong._

 **(20:21) from unknown:  
** _your whole existence is wrong_

 **(20:22) to unknown:  
** _Oh, burn. I'm offended._

 **(20:22) from unknown:  
** _youre literally a grandma or a nerdy kid_

 **(20:23) from unknown:  
** _theres no other reason for your texting_

 **(20:24) to unknown:  
** _It makes me feel powerful._

 **(20:24) from unknown:  
** _…_

 **(20:27) to unknown:  
** _I didn't turn the text options off, unlike someone._

 **(20:29) from unknown:  
** _you turn a lot of other things off instead right_

 **(20:32) to unknown:  
** _Where have your question marks gone now? I'm missing them already._

 **(20:34) from unknown:  
** _theyve gone off to war_

 **(20:39) to unknown:  
** _So they're learning how to murder?_

 **(20:42) from unknown:  
** _better watch out little girl_

 **(20:45) to unknown:  
** _Try the opposite gender._

 **(20:46) from unknown:  
** _are you telling me to try out little boys_

 **(20:46) from unknown:  
** _you sicko..._

 **(20:49) to unknown:  
** _I don't know why Brian puts up with you._

 **(20:50) from unknown:  
** _sabrina is a paid stalker_

 **(20:52) to unknown:  
** _You're the one paying her._

 **(20:52) from unknown:  
** _maybe shell remember that when she sees fuckboy tomorrow_

 **(20:55) to unknown:  
** _You need to accept their love, stranger._

 **(20:55) from unknown:  
** _im never telling you my name_

 **(20:57) from unknown:  
** _youre saved as little boy now_

 **(20:59) to unknown:  
** _I'm not making your name Daddy._

 **(20:59) from unknown:  
** _i really dont need to know your kinks_

 **(21:00) from unknown:  
** _youre only 12_

 **(21:03) to unknown:  
** _I'm just going to save you as a murder suspect._

 **(21:03) from serial killer:  
** _im a fucking angel_

With the addition of their contact information—no other details learned about them, other than Sabrina's constant flirtation with the receptionist—came his friends seeing his screen and questioning the name.

"It's a joke," he muttered, putting the device away, ignoring the notifications. "I'm not really conversing with a murderer."

The looks he received weren't very flattering.

Within a week, the name was shortened down to SK. They'd taken it as an affectionate nickname, not protesting it at all. And, well, from the amount of times they'd send passive-aggressive messages about Sabrina, along with just plain aggressive ones, it was no surprise that it suited them well.

Talking to SK was a nice distraction when he felt stressed. Their chats were always ridiculous, filled with nonsense and insults that he couldn't tell were genuine or not, but the important thing was that he found them enjoyable. As much as he enjoyed talking to his friends, there was a bit of freedom when talking to someone new, someone that didn't ask how his projects were going or whether he'd managed to wake up in time to get to his morning classes.

If his fingers smudged his last painting, SK didn't have to know.

When they finally got round to asking about his life, it wasn't in the most conventional way.

 **(06:25) from sk:  
** _rise and shine asshole_

 **(06:25) from sk:  
** _if i have to be up at the ass crack of dawn_

 **(06:25) from sk:  
** _then so do you lb_

 **(06:29) to sk:  
** _Can you not call me a little boy so early in the morning?_

 **(06:30) to sk:  
** _It makes me feel gross._

 **(06:32) from sk:  
** _isnt that your natural state tho_

 **(06:35) to sk:  
** _I'm ignoring you and going back to sleep._

 **(06:35) from sk:  
** _entertain me_

 **(06:37) to sk:  
** _I went to bed two hours ago._

 **(06:37) from sk:  
** _did i even ask..._

 **(06:38) to sk:  
** _That means fuck off, SK._

 **(06:38) from sk:  
** _your replies are getting quicker_

 **(06:38) from sk:  
** _that means youre up to keep me company_

 **(06:39) from sk:  
** _im very close to considering you an almost friend_

 **(06:40) to sk:  
** _I don't want to be almost anything to you._

 **(06:40) from sk:  
** _honestly that is fucking absurd_

 **(06:40) from sk:  
** _people would kill to be in your shoes_

 **(06:41) from sk:  
** _even if theyre children sized ones_

 **(06:41) to sk:  
** _My shoes are 100% bigger than yours._

 **(06:42) from sk:  
** _are you trying to imply something here_

 **(06:43) from sk:  
** _because i dont want to be arrested for pedophia_

 **(06:43) to sk:  
** _Pedophilia._

 **(06:43) from sk:  
** _hey look_

 **(06:44) from sk:  
** _youre awfully familiar with it_

 **(06:44) from sk:  
** _little boys like you shouldnt be on the internet_

 **(06:45) to sk:  
** _This is a text message._

 **(06:45) from sk:  
** _shut up_

 **(06:45) from sk:  
** _now tell me why you were up_

 **(06:45) from sk:  
** _was it a booty call_

 **(06:49) to sk:  
** _No, SK. It wasn't a booty call._

 **(06:50) from sk:  
** _im sad but not surprised_

 **(06:51) to sk:  
** _And I'm tired._

 **(06:52) from sk:  
** _youre up for good you coward_

 **(06:53) to sk:  
** _I don't have class for five hours._

 **(06:53) to sk:  
** _I planned to sleep to make up for staying up._

 **(06:54) from sk:  
** _when did you plan in your sking time_

 **(06:56) to sk:  
** _I don't know how to ski._

 **(07:00) from sk:  
** _fuck off._

 **(07:02) from sk:  
** _now tell me_

 **(07:02) from sk:  
** _im stuck in this car for an hour still_

 **(07:15) to sk:  
** _So that's why you dragged me out of bed?_

 **(07:16) from sk:  
** _did you actually get out of bed_

 **(07:17) from sk:  
** _wait stay out of it_

 **(07:17) from sk:  
** _i cant talk to children in their beds_

 **(07:19) to sk:  
** _I was finishing a project._

 **(07:19) from sk:  
** _that literally tells me nothing_

 **(07:19) from sk:  
** _what do you even do_

 **(07:23) to sk:  
** _I'm a student._

 **(07:23) from sk:  
** _fuck i was kidding about the kid thing_

 **(07:25) to sk:  
** _I'm legal, SK._

 **(07:26) from sk:  
** _youre no longer a boy_

 **(07:26) from sk:  
** _im sad now_

 **(07:29) to sk:  
** _Sometimes, the vibe you give off is a lot more creepy than murdery._

 **(07:29) from sk:  
** _is murdery even a word_

 **(07:30) from sk:  
** _youre the grammar nut here_

 **(07:32) to sk:  
** _I'm an art student._

 **(07:33) from sk:  
** _do you draw people naked_

 **(07:33) to sk:  
** _Definitely creepy._

-x-

Nothing really changed between them. SK woke him up early in the mornings sometimes, telling him that they needed entertainment for their journey, but he never really pushed to ask for more information. It wasn't that he wasn't curious—having SK as a mystery was more enticing, really. They were his anonymous friend who he had ridiculous conversation with; no angst, no drama, just silly topics that he'd only say to someone in person if he was comfortable with them.

There was no face or voice attached to them, and the image that he'd built of SK in his head was hardly flattering. They were sarcastic, rude, and constantly made him laugh from their responses.

It helped him through the suffering of mixing his paints wrong, wasting the limited amount of money that he had. When he worried about whether he could afford to splurge on groceries, he opened commissions again—three slots, ambitious considering his small amount of followers for his blog—and it was when he was waiting for anyone to contact him that SK asked about that aspect of his life again.

 **(21:03) from sk:  
** _you said youre an artist right_

 **(21:06) to sk:  
** _Yes?_

 **(21:06) from sk:  
** _does that mean i can see your art_

 **(21:06) from sk:  
** _or are you weirdly protective_

 **(21:07) from sk:  
** _and not let anyone near it_

 **(21:07) from sk:  
** _and like pee on it when no ones looking_

 **(21:23) to sk:  
** _I have a blog._

 **(21:24) from sk:  
** _give me it._

 **(21:25) to sk:  
** _That's not a good way to ask for anything._

 **(21:25) from sk:  
** _thats a lie_

 **(21:25) from sk:  
** _its worked for most of my life_

 **(21:28) to sk:  
** _I'm not spoiling you._

 **(21:29) from sk:  
** _have i ever asked you to be my sugar daddy_

 **(21:35) to sk:  
** _You think I'm a peasant compared to you._

 **(21:37) from sk:  
** _real talk_

 **(21:37) from sk:  
** _you probably are_

 **(21:38) from sk:  
** _my designer sunglasses could pay for your tuition_

 **(21:59) to sk:  
** _It's nice to see that rich people can't have it all._

 **(22:00) from sk:  
** _what_

 **(22:05) to sk:  
** _Well, manners for one._

 **(22:05) to sk:  
** _And my blog._

 **(22:15) from sk:  
** _are you really holding your blog hostage_

 **(22:37) to sk:  
** _Until you're a decent human being? Yes._

 **(22:41) from sk:  
** _is this because i havent given you an actual name_

 **(22:41) from sk:  
** _youre not even a real boy_

 **(23:15) to sk:  
** _And you're a real jerk. Congratulations._

As rude as SK could be, they hadn't been that obnoxious before. Maybe it was because of his situation that he was offended for once, taking the typed words to heart despite the fact that they actually didn't know each other. It was a lot worse than anonymous hate, though; he'd associated SK with positive things for almost two months, and that was why he was bothered in the first place.

It helped when he received two commissions when he woke up the following day.

Nathaniel stubbornly ignored SK's messages for a few days, adamant that he wasn't going to respond, even when they popped up and continued to make the device vibrate in the mornings. The only reason he didn't turn it off was because he needed it to be his alarm.

He read them after three days.

 **(23:22) from sk:  
** _what_

 **(23:29) from sk:  
** _oh come on really_

 **(23:30) from sk:  
** _did i hurt your little feelings..._

 **(23:49) from sk:  
** _fucking fine_

 **(00:00) from sk:  
** _whatever_

 **(14:02) from sk:  
** _so apparently i was a dick_

 **(14:04) from sk:  
** _but i didnt say anything untrue so whats up with that_

 **(16:49) from sk:  
** _ok brian has told me why_

 **(17:02) from sk:  
** _the way i said it right_

 **(17:05) from sk:  
** _my bad for being insensitive to your money_

 **(17:07) from sk:  
** _you actually dont have a name_

 **(17:08) from sk:  
** _nameless and poor_

 **(07:02) from sk:  
** _was that apology not enough_

 **(07:04) from sk:  
** _come on who else will i talk to in the mornings_

 **(07:15) from sk:  
** _i dont want to talk to brian more than i have to_

 **(07:45) from sk:  
** _is this what it feels like to be ignored_

 **(07:45) from sk:  
** _this is so new_

 **(07:51) from sk:  
** _or is this like a therapy session_

 **(07:51) from sk:  
** _and youre letting me say all my feelings first_

 **(07:55) from sk:  
** _because its pretty weird_

 **(11:04) from sk:  
** _brian told me to actually apologise_

 **(11:05) from sk:  
** _she thinks im still being a dick_

 **(14:36) from sk:  
** _which maybe i am_

 **(14:37) sk:  
** _this is kinda my natural state_

 **(09:02) from sk:  
** _sorry for existing like this i guess?_

 **(09:04) from sk:  
** _that sounded more emo than i wanted_

 **(09:15) from sk:  
** _im too rich to die_

 **(09:16) from sk:  
** _wait thats still rude isnt it_

 **(09:17) from sk:  
** _im too successful to die?_

As annoyed as he wanted to be, he was aware that he'd overreacted. SK had been the same as ever, and he'd chosen to be offended by it. So, perhaps, when he was feeling down, talking to them wasn't a good idea—

But they made him laugh. That was the reason that they were still talking; or, rather, why they had been before he'd reacted immaturely to the jabs. SK hadn't messaged him again after the last one—which had admittedly made him laugh, as it was a terribly in character apology—and he found that being angry was tiring.

They were somewhat friends, after all.

 **(15:19) to sk:  
** _It's not your fault._

 **(15:21) to sk:  
** _I was immature. Sorry about that, SK._

 **(15:22) to sk:  
** _I get it if you don't want to talk again._

 **(15:25) to sk:  
** _But you used question marks and even called her Brian in your apology._

 **(15:37) to sk:  
** _That's a good sign, isn't it?_

 **(15:40) to sk:  
** _I see what you mean about this feeling like therapy._

 **(15:42) to sk:  
** _Not that I've actually been to therapy. Have you?_

 **(15:56) to sk:  
** _That's really personal and I'm being a dick. Sorry._

With that apology being the best he could come up with, one that was more eloquent than if he'd tried to say it in person, he distracted himself with his work. He'd passed up the opportunity to go out with friends for that evening, knowing he wouldn't enjoy the thumping beat in the cheapest nearby nightclub in the mood that he was in.

It was just over halfway through a commission that his phone started vibrating. At first, he ignored it by assuming that it was just his friends filling him in on what he was missing, until he remembered that he'd reached out to SK again.

They weren't any less dramatic than usual.

 **(20:41) from sk:  
** _well well well_

 **(20:41) from sk:  
** _look who cant resist my charms after all_

 **(20:45) from sk:  
** _dont ignore me now dumbass..._

 **(20:46) from sk:  
** _i dont care that you have feelings_

 **(20:46) from sk:  
** _as long as you give me attention_

 **(20:51) to sk:  
** _Hasn't Brian been taking care of you?_

 **(20:53) from sk:  
** _brian is demented_

 **(20:53) from sk:  
** _she thinks were best friends now_

 **(20:55) to sk:  
** _Are you trying to tell me you're not?_

 **(20:56) from sk:  
** _im closer to you than that nerd_

 **(21:00) to sk:  
** _You're convinced I'm a nerd._

 **(21:03) from sk:  
** _youre a legal boy who likes periods_

 **(21:03) from sk:  
** _that came out badly_

 **(21:05) to sk:  
** _Let's not talk about my kinks._

 **(21:06) from sk:  
** _ok knit boy_

 **(21:10) to sk:  
** _I really don't like the names you give me._

 **(21:16) from sk:  
** _and i dont like my assistant_

 **(21:16) from sk:  
** _we cant all have what we want knit_

 **(21:16) from sk:  
** _knoy_

 **(21:16) from sk:  
** _how would you shorten knit boy_

 **(21:19) to sk:  
** _I wouldn't._

 **(21:20) from sk:  
** _youre boring_

 **(21:24) to sk:  
** _I just have good taste in names._

 **(21:25) from sk:  
** _you literally call me serial killer_

 **(21:27) to sk:  
** _But it's shortened to sound like a cute nickname._

 **(21:28) from sk:  
** _its better than what others call me i guess_

 **(21:35) to sk:  
** _Oh? I'm interested in these names now._

 **(21:35) from sk:  
** _how about_

 **(21:36) from sk:  
** _ill tell you one if you give me your blog_

 **(21:40) to sk:  
** _You really want to see?_

 **(21:42) from sk:  
** _i told you_

 **(21:42) from sk:  
** _were almost friends_

 **(21:45) to sk:  
** _Poor Brian._

 **(21:46) from sk:  
** _brian tried to have a sleepover with me_

 **(21:52) to sk:  
** _She's your paid stalker, remember?_

 **(21:55) from sk:  
** _its not her job to watch me fucking sleep_

 **(21:55) from sk:  
** _i lied and said i had my period_

 **(21:56) from sk:  
** _she was so fucking pushy_

 **(21:57) to sk:  
** _So you're talking to me because I like periods?_

 **(21:57) from sk:  
** _fucking gross_

 **(22:00) to sk:  
** _You're the one who said it._

 **(22:02) from sk:  
** _congratulations_

 **(22:02) from sk:  
** _you just turned off another girl_

 **(22:03) to sk:  
** _You just told me your gender._

 **(22:09) from sk:  
** _what_

 **(22:09) from sk:  
** _did you think brian was trying to sleepover with a guy_

 **(22:10) from sk:  
** _im beautiful and youre missing out_

 **(22:14) to sk:  
** _I don't think she was trying to sleepover because of your looks._

 **(22:15) from sk:  
** _maybe shed try and cut my face off_

 **(22:15) from sk:  
** _and wear it_

 **(22:17) to sk:  
** _I'm starting to be concerned about you._

 **(22:17) from sk:  
** _exactly why i said no to her_

 **(22:19) to sk:  
** _Not about your safety, idiot._

 **(22:19) from sk:  
** _well thats fucking rude_

Learning that SK's gender didn't change their conversations at all. Although Nathaniel hadn't decided on what age range they were in, he didn't really mind. Their conversations weren't inappropriate, and there definitely wasn't any flirting involved, but it was nice to learn something new about her.

SK told him at seven in the morning that she was going to be busy for the day, that she wouldn't be able to reply for a long time, and he chose that time to send her his blog, just as he'd promised to do. It wasn't that he was nervous about it—he wasn't the self-conscious teenager that hunched over his sketchbook to avoid people looking at it any more—but the fact that he was worried what she thought at all was mattered. And brutal honesty was her speciality, apparently.

 **(20:51) from sk:  
** _hello nath_

 **(20:51) from sk:  
** _thats short for something isnt it_

 **(20:52) from sk:  
** _i can click on your links right_

 **(20:53) from sk:  
** _i cant follow you anywhere but i can still stalk_

 **(20:55) from sk:  
** _shit am i brian_

 **(21:04) to sk:  
** _You're an unpaid stalker._

 **(21:05) from sk:  
** _fuck off nath_

 **(21:07) to sk:  
** _Are you actually waiting for permission?_

 **(21:11) from sk:  
** _well when you put it like that_

 **(21:11) from sk:  
** _no_

 **(21:16) from sk:  
** _you have a fucking ponytail_

 **(21:17) to sk:  
** _Only when I'm drawing._

 **(21:17) from sk:  
** _isnt that all the time_

 **(21:17) from sk:  
** _i bet you have one in right now_

 **(21:18) to sk:  
** _I don't have to answer that._

 **(21:24) from sk:  
** _youre fucking tall_

 **(21:30) to sk:  
** _I did try and tell you with the shoe thing._

 **(21:31) from sk:  
** _i thought you meant dick size_

 **(21:34) to sk:  
** _Why would I want to talk about that with you?_

 **(21:37) from sk:  
** _bitch youd be fucking honoured to_

 **(21:39) to sk:  
** _Your ego is outrageous._

 **(21:40) from sk:  
** _im literally the third sexiest woman_

 **(21:45) to sk:  
** _Wow, is that some modesty?_

 **(21:52) from sk:  
** _ok we both know i deserve first place_

 **(21:52) from sk:  
** _but ill get my crown next year_

 **(21:53) to sk:  
** _Don't murder your competition._

 **(21:53) from sk:  
** _fuck off_

 **(22:07) from sk:  
** _nath_

 **(22:09) to sk:  
** _What?_

 **(22:10) from sk:  
** _you better not fucking call me this_

 **(22:10) to sk:  
** _Go on._

 **(22:11) from sk:  
** _i get called ice queen_

 **(22:11) from sk:  
** _it was a mistake and it stuck_

 **(22:12) to sk:  
** _Just like Brian, huh?_

 **(22:14) from sk:  
** _brian is on you asshole_

 **(22:25) to sk:  
** _You really need to learn to use commas._

 **(22:27) from sk:  
** _when you look like me_

 **(22:27) from sk:  
** _it really doesnt matter_

 **(22:27) to sk:  
** _I'm sure._

 **(22:30) from sk:  
** _is that fucking sarcasm_

 **(22:31) to sk:  
** _Of course not, Queenie._

 **(22:31) from sk:  
** _blocked._

 **(22:31) to sk:  
** _You're so sweet._

 **(22:51) from sk:  
** _your art is ok_

 **(22:51) from sk:  
** _but youre still dead to me_

Queenie replaced SK in his contact list.

She wasn't too thrilled at first, demanding to be called something else, but gave in after Nathaniel showed her the crown that was beside her name whenever she messaged him.

When he updated his blog with his newest drawing after sharing it with her, he wasn't expecting her to react to it at all. If anything, he'd suspected that she'd forget about it, not bringing it up again. So, when he started to get compliments—well, they were just comments on the colours or specific body parts—each time, he was bewildered at first.

It was sweet, actually. Instead of the comments that he was used to, that his friends posted online, too, Queenie sent them to him directly and made sure that he acknowledged her.

 **(16:21) from queenie:  
** _you just finished all your drawings right_

 **(16:22) from queenie:  
** _i liked the pointy breasts on the last one_

 **(16:54) to queenie:  
** _Commissions? Yes._

 **(16:56) from queenie:  
** _are you opening them again_

 **(17:00) to queenie:  
** _Yeah, probably. I just have to finish an assignment first._

 **(17:01) from queenie:  
** _yes or no nathaniel_

 **(17:03) to queenie:  
** _Using my first name when you're mad doesn't work well._

 **(17:03) from queenie:  
** _..._

 **(17:04) from queenie:  
** _nathaniel._

 **(17:06) to queenie:  
** _In a few weeks, yes._

 **(17:07) from queenie:  
** _is it for three again_

 **(17:09) to queenie:  
** _I guess. It worked out well this time, so maybe._

 **(17:10) from queenie:  
** _i want_

 **(17:12) to queenie:  
** _Use your words, Queenie._

 **(17:36) to queenie:  
** _I hope Brian didn't abduct you._

 **(19:02) from queenie:  
** _brian wanted to get milkshakes_

 **(19:15) to queenie:  
** _And you went, right? That's a beautiful friendship._

 **(19:18) from queenie:  
** _im on a fucking diet you moron_

 **(19:18) from queenie:  
** _and shes supposed to enforce it_

 **(19:20) to queenie:  
** _So you did._

 **(19:21) from queenie:  
** _i fucking did_

 **(19:21) from queenie:  
** _now ill probably have to skip dinner_

 **(19:30) to queenie:  
** _How come?_

 **(19:31) from queenie:  
** _did you misread_

 **(19:31) from queenie:  
** _im on a diet_

 **(19:34) to queenie:  
** _Missing dinner because of a milkshake isn't good, though._

 **(19:36) from queenie:  
** _youre not fucking good_

 **(19:41) to queenie:  
** _Are you okay? You're swearing a lot._

 **(19:45) from queenie:  
** _im going to fire her_

 **(19:45) from queenie:  
** _im hungry and its all her fault_

 **(19:49) to queenie:  
** _One meal can't hurt, Queenie._

 **(19:52) from queenie:  
** _i have a big job next week_

 **(19:53) from queenie:  
** _im supposed to be losing weight for it_

 **(19:55) to queenie:  
** _You can eat. A week won't make that much difference._

 **(19:59) from queenie:  
** _if i dont fit into the clothing_

 **(19:59) from queenie:  
** _i wont get the ad_

 **(20:00) to queenie:  
** _Eat half a dinner, then._

 **(20:02) from queenie:  
** _thats just fucking sad_

 **(20:04) to queenie:  
** _Aren't you sad right now? Eat a little._

 **(20:05) from queenie:  
** _is this a new kink_

 **(20:05) from queenie:  
** _making pretty girls eat_

 **(20:07) to queenie:  
** _I'm not telling Brian to eat._

 **(20:08) from queenie:  
** _die_

 **(20:10) to queenie:  
** _Seriously, will you eat something?_

 **(20:11) to queenie:  
** _I don't know what your job is, but it's not worth starving yourself._

 **(20:14) from queenie:  
** _thats literally my job whenever i sign a new contract_

 **(20:15) to queenie:  
** _I hope that's an exaggeration._

 **(20:16) from queenie:  
** _i trade food for sex appeal_

 **(20:20) to queenie:  
** _Queenie, you haven't been on a date for the three months we've known each other._

 **(20:21) from queenie:  
** _what are you implying here pony boy_

 **(20:23) to queenie:  
** _That name doesn't quite have the same meaning any more._

 **(20:23) from queenie:  
** _i dont need you_

 **(20:24) from queenie:  
** _to remind me that my frumpy ass assistant_

 **(20:24) from queenie:  
** _is getting more action than me ok_

 **(20:25) to queenie:  
** _You love her._

 **(20:26) from queenie:  
** _gross_

 **(20:26) from queenie:  
** _if she feeds me again shes gone_

 **(20:28) to queenie:  
** _If she feeds you again, I'll give her a raise myself._

 **(20:29) from queenie:  
** _how about you buy some clothes_

 **(20:29) from queenie:  
** _that arent covered in paint first_

 **(20:31) to queenie:  
** _Stop looking at my pictures._

 **(20:32) queenie:  
** _you dont control me_

 **(20:34) to queenie:  
** _I'm gonna turn into a food blog._

 **(20:34) from queenie:  
** _stick to the pointy breasts_

 **(20:36) to queenie:  
** _They were specifically requested._

 **(20:36) from queenie:  
** _wait_

 **(20:37) from queenie:  
** _so do you draw whatever youre asked to_

 **(20:39) to queenie:  
** _Within reason, yes._

 **(20:39) from queenie:  
** _draw something for me_

 **(20:40) to queenie:  
** _Maybe if I have free time._

 **(20:41) from queenie:  
** _ill pay you dumbass_

 **(20:41) from queenie:  
** _i can be professional and shit_

 **(20:42) to queenie:  
** _And shit, yes._

 **(20:43) to queenie:  
** _Is this why you were asking about commissions earlier?_

 **(20:44) from queenie:  
** _before brian ruined my life_

 **(20:44) from queenie:  
** _yeah i want something really specific_

 **(20:47) to queenie:  
** _Please tell me it's not with the knitting needles._

 **(20:52) from queenie:  
** _damn_

 **(20:52) from queenie:  
** _no but really get back to me_

 **(20:53) from queenie:  
** _when you put that post shit up again_

-x-

The list of things he knew about Queenie was small.

With the frequent travelling, she continued to message him on her journeys for a source of amusement. Her job required for to be in shape, which meant that she could be a model of some sort, and she was in her early twenties, the same as age him (which had taken a few more weeks for her to say).

She had a sharp sense of humour, didn't think about whether she'd hurt anyone's feelings before she spoke, and often needed someone to point out that she'd done something wrong. In some cases, Nathaniel had to be the one to tell her that she'd said something rude when she vaguely recounted her day, or told him as it was happening.

The strangest thing was that she went through with commissioning him.

At first, he'd stared at the e-mail and wondered whether it was a joke of a request at first, and when he'd been about to delete it, he saw that she'd put her address as ice queen. It was an easy way to keep her identity, at least.

He wished he'd hidden his from his e-mail when she started to call him Kurtzie.

She'd chosen the most expensive option, one that Nathaniel had yet to receive from anyone else, and he found out that she wasn't kidding when she said it was specific.

 **(16:02) to queenie:  
** _Is this a joke?_

 **(16:26) from queenie:  
** _isnt that usually directed at you_

 **(16:28) to queenie:  
** _Hilarious._

 **(16:28) to queenie:  
** _Is this request serious?_

 **(16:29) from queenie:  
** _fuck yeah it is_

 **(16:29) from queenie:  
** _draw them baguettes_

 **(16:31) to queenie:  
** _You don't know her, do you?_

 **(16:31) from queenie:  
** _what_

 **(16:34) to queenie:  
** _You're asking me to draw Chloé Bourgeois._

 **(16:34) to queenie:  
** _She's a model like you, isn't she?_

 **(16:47) from queenie:  
** _what makes you say im a model_

 **(16:52) to queenie:  
** _Queenie, practically spelled it out to me._

 **(16:53) from queenie:  
** _look i just want a pretty girl with bread_

 **(16:53) from queenie:  
** _bread everywhere_

 **(16:53) from queenie:  
** _so i can look at it and be inspired_

 **(16:55) to queenie:  
** _You're sounding like you have a crush._

 **(16:56) from queenie:  
** _have you seen them_

 **(16:56) to queenie:  
** _Plural?_

 **(16:59) from queenie:  
** _i havent had bread for like a month_

 **(16:59) from queenie:  
** _and shes the most beautiful woman in the world_

 **(17:00) from queenie:  
** _whats there not to love_

 **(17:03) to queenie:  
** _This is a really weird request._

 **(17:04) from queenie:  
** _slow down_

 **(17:04) from queenie:  
** _lets see how you do with this_

 **(17:05) from queenie:  
** _before i go nuts pony boy_

 **(17:05) to queenie:  
** _Please don't call me that._

 **(17:06) from queenie:  
** _sorry kurtzie_

 **(17:08) to queenie:  
** _I regret talking to you._

Queenie asked him daily how it was going, demanding for him to post progress pictures on either his blog or social media accounts, trying to make him more active than anything else. So, he did—each evening, he posted an update of the blonde-haired model that had been requested, easily editing the bits that Queenie found to be unattractive (her words).

When she started to ask him to post pictures of his university projects, just to know what he was working with, that was when he asked why she was making him post more.

The answer he got was simple—she wanted to see his life more.

Which was a bit weird, honestly. Queenie hadn't shared much with him; she was notoriously private, dodging the questions about her job and other activities, giving the people in her life that she talked about to him awful nicknames, other than Sabrina. She was vague about where she was for hours, but more than happy to know about anything that happened to him.

It was a bit weird to like someone that was so secretive. At times, it felt like he was talking to a rude robot from the amount he knew about her.

 **(11:49) to queenie:  
** _How can you prove I haven't been talking to a bot all this time?_

 **(12:05) from queenie:  
** _boy i hope they have robots as cute as me_

 **(12:12) to queenie:  
** _A text bot._

 **(12:13) from queenie:  
** _my texting is cute as fuck too_

 **(12:13) from queenie:  
** _are you doubting my existence_

 **(12:14) from queenie:  
** _when i paid out of my ass for a sexy girl with bread_

 **(12:16) to queenie:  
** _I don't really know anything about you, though._

 **(12:16) to queenie:  
** _Are you badly catfishing me?_

 **(12:18) from queenie:  
** _i repeat_

 **(12:18) from queenie:  
** _i paid u_

 **(12:18) from queenie:  
** _isnt catfishing about getting money_

 **(12:19) to queenie:  
** _That's why I said badly._

 **(12:24) from queenie:  
** _what do you want to know then_

 **(12:25) from queenie:  
** _to convince you im real_

 **(12:25) from queenie:  
** _after four months of our friendship_

 **(12:28) to queenie:  
** _You know a lot about me, but I only know your age._

 **(12:30) from queenie:  
** _but you know im a model_

 **(12:31) to queenie:  
** _You never confirmed it._

 **(12:31) from queenie:  
** _im a model_

 **(12:31) from queenie:  
** _surprise_

 **(12:34) to queenie:  
** _And I can't know who you are because?_

 **(12:35) from queenie:  
** _im having fun_

 **(12:35) from queenie:  
** _dont ruin it_

 **(12:37) to queenie:  
** _I'm not sure how that would ruin it, but okay._

 **(12:39) from queenie:  
** _youd want to have sex with me obviously_

 **(12:39) from queenie:  
** _kidding_

 **(12:40) from queenie:  
** _well no you probably would_

 **(12:40) from queenie:  
** _im a model for a reason_

 **(12:40) from queenie:  
** _i like that you dont know who i am_

 **(12:40) from queenie:  
** _its nice_

 **(12:44) to queenie:  
** _The only proof I've had about you is the money you paid me, but that could've been your parents'._

 **(12:52) from queenie:  
** _are you asking me for nudes_

 **(12:52) from queenie:  
** _because ive been told not to send them_

 **(12:54) to queenie:  
** _Who had to tell you not to?_

 **(12:57) from queenie:  
** _it was in my contract_

 **(12:57) from queenie:  
** _along with not dating models_

 **(13:00) to queenie:  
** _So that's why you haven't been on a date._

 **(13:03) from queenie:  
** _im allowed to with models i dont work with_

 **(13:04) from queenie:  
** _but theyre gross_

 **(13:04) from queenie:  
** _they dont laugh at my jokes_

 **(13:07) to queenie:  
** _You threaten murder as a joke._

 **(13:12) from queenie:  
** _exactly_

 **(13:12) from queenie:  
** _im hilarious._

 **(13:12) from queenie:  
** _if they cant laugh at my jokes_

 **(13:13) from queenie:  
** _then they cant love me more than i love me_

 **(13:15) to queenie:  
** _You do love yourself a lot._

 **(13:18) from queenie:  
** _someone has to_

 **(13:24) to queenie:  
** _If it helps, you make me laugh a lot._

 **(13:26) from queenie:  
** _this is why youre my best friend_

 **(13:27) to queenie:  
** _Poor Brian._

 **(13:34) to queenie:  
** _You've gone quiet._

 **(13:41) to queenie:  
** _You're one of my best friends, too. That's why I want to know more about you._

Queenie told him her favourite food the next day. It was out of nowhere, and a weird conversation starter, but they found out that they had some of the same tastes. Then, she moved onto music and television shows, films that had been released the past few months (she was outraged when he said he hadn't gone to the cinema in years), and even her favourite animal.

It was cute—that was his main thought when he shoved his phone underneath his pillow, trying to sleep despite the music that he could hear from another dorm-room.

The friendship he had with her was easy-going. They joked, laughed, and rarely stayed on the serious topics for them. Yet, he still knew that she was frustrated with her diet, irritated by some of the models she had to work with (particularly the one that she'd nicknamed dickhead permanently), and what she liked to do in her free time.

It was just the physical details that he didn't know, really, and that bothered him more than he thought it would. He enjoyed talking to her enough to admit that her messages were the best parts of his day, able to cheer him up when he was frustrated, and typing to her was preferable to spending time with some of his closest friends as of the past few months—

"Oh."

He'd always been slow at realising his crushes.

-x-

After the bread picture was completed—which Queenie thoroughly loved from the influx of messages he got when he posted a watermarked version online and sent her the original through an e-mail—the final commission slot was filled up by her again.

She wanted Chloé Bourgeois as a superhero that time.

He'd been asked to draw characters from video games, television shows, and specific members of musical groups, but the model request was a first for him. She was adamant that it was what she wanted, demanding the weirdest things that he'd ever received (other than the oddly sexual ones that he declined), and it helped that along with her request e-mail, she sent a load of reference pictures of the model along with exactly what she wanted.

It was the most expensive one yet again, but she assured him that she could afford it.

When he completed that one, receiving just as much spam as before to show it was appreciated, he wondered whether he could take a break from opening commissions for a bit. Queenie had helped him out with the large amount—two in less than a month—as did the other picture that he'd done, although it was only half.

 **(18:23) to queenie:  
** _I think I might be able to relax for a bit._

 **(18:27) from queenie:  
** _i dont need to know about you masturbating_

 **(18:35) to queenie:  
** _You always jump to that conclusion._

 **(18:38) from queenie:  
** _gross_

 **(18:38) from queenie:  
** _i dont want to think about your dick_

 **(18:39) from queenie:  
** _what if you put that hair in a ponytail too_

 **(18:43) to queenie:  
** _I'm worried about you._

 **(18:48) from queenie:  
** _thats because you love me_

 **(18:48) from queenie:  
** _its fine_

 **(18:48) from queenie:  
** _everyone loves me a little_

 **(18:50) to queenie:  
** _Speaking of little, how tall are you?_

 **(18:51) from queenie:  
** _listen here giant_

 **(18:51) from queenie:  
** _just because im smaller than you_

 **(18:52) from queenie:  
** _doesnt mean im actually small_

 **(18:57) to queenie:  
** _So you're tall, but not too tall._

 **(19:00) from queenie:  
** _fuck off kurtzie_

 **(19:02) to queenie:  
** _What did I do to deserve that name?_

 **(19:03) from queenie:  
** _youre being gross_

 **(19:07) to queenie:  
** _Asking about you is gross?_

 **(19:09) from queenie:  
** _in the way you did it yes_

 **(19:09) from queenie:  
** _be a normal person for once_

 **(19:11) to queenie:  
** _You're asking for a lot._

 **(19:12) from queenie:  
** _im not_

 **(19:12) from queenie:  
** _you posting a selfie without a ponytail_

 **(19:12) from queenie:  
** _would be asking too much_

 **(19:14) to queenie:  
** _Will I get anything in return if I do that?_

 **(19:16) from queenie:  
** _ill commission you again_

 **(19:20) to queenie:  
** _They're not open._

 **(19:22) from queenie:  
** _you love me_

 **(19:22) from queenie:  
** _so let me pay you_

 **(19:30) to queenie:**

 _You've already paid me twice._

 **(19:31) from queenie:  
** _i want one with a space background now_

 **(19:13) from queenie:  
** _and sparkly eyes_

 **(19:13) from queenie:  
** _give me the cute shit_

 **(19:15) to queenie:  
** _Chloé again?_

 **(19:16) from queenie:  
** _she is everything i aspire to be_

 **(19:20) to queenie:  
** _Your admiration is a tad extreme._

 **(19:20) from queenie:  
** _what_

 **(19:21) from queenie:  
** _you draw characters you like from some game_

 **(19:21) from queenie:  
** _why cant i have a pretty girl_

 **(19:24) to queenie:  
** _Send me the reference pictures and all the details you want later._

 **(19:24) from queenie:  
** _fuck yes_

 **(19:25) from queenie:  
** _im gonna make it my new profile picture_

 **(19:29) to queenie:  
** _Of your secret accounts?_

 **(19:34) from queenie:  
** _be nice and they might not be so secret_

 **(19:38) to queenie:  
** _I hope you're not kidding._

 **(19:41) from queenie:  
** _you need to post a nice pic of you first_

 **(19:41) from queenie:  
** _thats the deal kurtzie_

 **(19:44) to queenie:  
** _Any positive feelings I have for you die when you use that nickname._

 **(19:44) from queenie:  
** _what about if i moaned it_

 **(19:47) to queenie:  
** _That requires knowing what your voice sounds like._

 **(19:50) from queenie:  
** _better get working on that selfie then boy_

 **(19:52) to queenie:  
** _Demanding._

Nathaniel posted the picture of himself the next day. As she said she'd do, he received the reference pictures and information a few days later from the same e-mail as she always used, the one her real name missing from it. As nice as it was for them to talk as they were, it did feel like they wouldn't be friends anywhere else; not instant messaging somewhere, on social media, or even in person.

He knew he was soft-spoken, hesitant to speak up when in a group, and preferred to stick to the sidelines instead of involving himself in drama, and from what she knew about Queenie, she was the opposite.

It was fine.

They probably wouldn't be compatible in person, and they'd probably never meet in that way at all. She didn't want to change from their texts or even call him and that—

That was fine.

Still, when he got a message from her saying that he didn't look too bad that day, he couldn't help but get his hopes up a little. If she felt the same excitement or happiness when his name popped up on her screen as he did for hers, then that was more than enough. He wasn't going to pressure her for anything more, or even admit to his feelings—he knew that it would be pointless to, and didn't want to damage their friendship with his one-sided feelings.

Nathaniel poured his feelings into the pictures she paid for instead, staying up until his eyes were half-lidded from tiredness, making sure that it was worth the money.

In the early hours of the morning, hours before he needed to be up for class, his cell phone was vibrating madly from her reaction to the piece.

With his face still pressed into the pillow, he smiled for a moment before reaching out for the device.

 **(06:27) from queenie:  
** _fucking look at that!_

 **(06:27) from queenie:  
** _nath!_

 **(06:28) from queenie:  
** _if this isnt going into your portfolio somehow_

 **(06:28) from queenie:  
** _you need to fucking fix that_

 **(06:28) from queenie:  
** _this is the best shit yet_

 **(06:29) from queenie:  
** _put it on your blog already_

 **(06:29) from queenie:  
** _wait am i waking you up_

 **(06:29) from queenie:  
** _i want the company but like_

 **(06:30) from queenie:  
** _that email was from a few hours ago_

 **(06:30) from queenie:  
** _you did a good job_

 **(06:30) from queenie:  
** _so you can sleep_

 **(06:32) to queenie:  
** _I can't sleep when my pillow's vibrating._

 **(06:32) from queenie:  
** _turn your dildo off then moron_

 **(06:33) from queenie:  
** _wait fuck_

 **(06:33) from queenie:  
** _ill shut up_

 **(06:33) from queenie:  
** _just for today_

Cute was a good word to describe her.

-x-

 **(09:29) from queenie:  
** _you have today off right_

 **(09:37) to queenie:  
** _Yeah, my only class is cancelled._

 **(09:39) from queenie:  
** _so you can keep me company_

 **(09:39) from queenie:  
** _brians gone off to flirt_

 **(09:40) from queenie:  
** _and some new models are cosying up to me_

 **(09:40) from queenie  
** _i need to look busy_

 **(09:43) to queenie:  
** _I wasn't planning on not talking to you today._

 **(09:44) from queenie:  
** _then text faster_

 **(09:44) from queenie:  
** _theyre looking suspicious_

 **(09:45) to queenie:  
** _Why?_

 **(09:46) from queenie:  
** _ive already told them to fuck off before_

 **(09:46) from queenie:  
** _i need to be nicer apparently_

 **(09:48) to queenie:  
** _Who told you this?_

 **(09:48) from queenie:  
** _there was a complaint about me last week_

 **(09:49) from queenie:  
** _because someone couldnt take a joke_

 **(09:51) to queenie:  
** _They can't be your friend if they don't like your jokes._

 **(09:52) from queenie:  
** _why do you meet my requirements_

 **(09:52) from queenie:  
** _you dont even live near me_

 **(09:53) to queenie:  
** _You're never going to tell me where you live._

 **(09:53) from queenie:  
** _be happy im french_

 **(09:54) to queenie:  
** _I'm happy that you're you._

 **(09:54) from queenie:  
** _that sounds like youre proposing to me_

 **(09:56) to queenie:  
** _Take my virtual hand in marriage, Queenie._

 **(09:57) from queenie:  
** _get on your knees then_

 **(09:58) to queenie:  
** _It's one knee, not a sexual act._

 **(10:00) from queenie:  
** _you dont know how i want you to propose_

 **(10:01) from queenie:  
** _a girl has needs_

 **(10:05) to queenie:  
** _You're going to give me a heart attack one day._

 **(10:06) from queenie:  
** _oh good they fucked off_

 **(10:06) to queenie:  
** _You didn't glare at them, did you?_

 **(10:08) from queenie:  
** _they deserved it_

 **(10:08) from queenie:  
** _if i wanted to be their friend_

 **(10:09) from queenie:  
** _i wouldve said so_

 **(10:11) to queenie:  
** _You can't say you don't deserve your title._

 **(10:11) from queenie:  
** _you know what_

 **(10:12) from queenie:  
** _fuck you_

 **(10:14) to queenie:  
** _I love you, too._

 **(10:16) from queenie:  
** _fucking gross_

 **(10:16) from queenie:  
** _but right_

 **(10:20) to queenie:  
** _I'm touched you're finally admitting our love._

 **(10:21) from queenie:  
** _youre saved as kurtzie in my phone_

 **(10:24) to queenie:  
** _How sweet._

 **(10:25) from queenie:  
** _im getting rid of the heart_

 **(10:25) from queenie:  
** _you can go back to being alone again_

 **(10:25) from queenie:  
** _ive gotta go_

 **(10:27) to queenie:  
** _Ah, yes. Being alone is my favourite hobby._

 **(10:27) to queenie:  
** _Have fun. Don't glare at Brian's sweetheart._

 **(14:02) from queenie:  
** _theyre making me pose with ice_

 **(14:03) from queenie:  
** _why is this happening to me_

 **(14:37) to queenie:  
** _Today?_

 **(14:49) from queenie:  
** _not today_

 **(14:49) from queenie:  
** _but i accepted the job_

 **(14:50) from queenie:  
** _so that nickname is never going away_

 **(14:52) to queenie:  
** _I have a question._

 **(14:53) from queenie:  
** _what you want_

 **(14:56) to queenie:  
** _If I searched for ice queen models, would you come up?_

 **(14:59) from queenie:** _  
youre literally the worst stalker_

 **(15:04) to queenie:  
** _There can only be one Brian._

 **(15:06) from queenie:  
** _you know what_

 **(15:06) from queenie:  
** _why dont you actually do that_

 **(15:07) from queenie:  
** _if you manage to work it out then ill be able to use your art_

 **(15:07) from queenie:  
** _as my profile pictures without ruining it_

 **(15:07) from queenie:  
** _lets see if youre an idiot or not_

 **(15:11) to queenie:  
** _Are you sure?_

 **(15:12) to queenie:  
** _You said it's more fun if I don't know who you are._

 **(15:15) from queenie:  
** _well now i really fucking like you_

 **(15:15) from queenie:  
** _which is weird_

 **(15:16) from queenie:  
** _youre literally a mess_

 **(15:16) from queenie:  
** _with all that paint and shit_

 **(15:17) from queenie:  
** _but youre cute and that frustrates me_

 **(15:19) to queenie:  
** _That's sounding awfully close to a confession, you know._

 **(15:26) from queenie:  
** _dm me to arrange a fucking date then_

 **(15:31) to queenie:  
** _What?_

 **(15:32) from queenie:  
** _times ticking loser_

The main name that popped up with Chloé Bourgeois.

It made a lot of sense, really, and the fact that he'd passed over it and assumed that it wouldn't be her seemed amusing after the tiny amount of time he spent searching to find out who she was. Chloé Bourgeois was a successful model that was known for her neutral expressions, glares, and pouts from the articles that were on the first page, and looking in the related images section proved just as much from the limited professional photos that had her smiling in them.

Blonde hair, blue eyes, and tanned skin that he'd been drawing for weeks was staring back at him. Liking her when she was anonymous was one thing, but finding out that she wasn't kidding about

Her assistant was named Sabrina, too.

If he'd searched for the reference pictures of her himself, he would've surely worked it out weeks ago—

But it was a show of trust.

 **(17:02) to queenie:  
** _Did you really pay me to draw you?_

 **(17:14) from queenie:  
** _lets be real here_

 **(17:15) from queenie:  
** _it was a crime that you werent already_

 **(17:15) from queenie:  
** _im beautiful_

 **(17:17) to queenie:  
** _You weren't even being sneaky about it._

 **(17:21) from queenie:  
** _i told you_

 **(17:21) from queenie:  
** _youre the worst stalker_

 **(17:24) to queenie:  
** _Or I trust you too much._

 **(17:25) from queenie:  
** _you couldve found out by yourself_

 **(17:26) from queenie:  
** _with the info you know about me_

 **(17:31) to queenie:  
** _That would've counted as going behind your back._

 **(17:46) from queenie:  
** _but now you know what my back looks like_

 **(17:50) to queenie:  
** _Because you let me, yes._

 **(17:52) from queenie:  
** _you have consent issues_

 **(17:52) from queenie:  
** _do i need to say yes to everything_

 **(17:55) to queenie:  
** _It's rude to assume, isn't it?_

 **(17:56) from queenie:  
** _nathaniel kurtzieberg_

 **(17:56) to queenie:  
** _That's not my name._

 **(17:57) from queenie:  
** _this is me giving you permission for everything_

 **(17:57) from queenie:  
** _now hurry up and follow my accounts_

 **(17:58) from queenie:  
** _i want to be spacey and tell everyone you made it_

 **(17:58) from queenie:  
** _get ready to be popular_

 **(18:03) to queenie:  
** _That sounds ominous._

 **(18:04) from queenie:  
** _were supposed to be arranging our date_

 **(18:09) to queenie:  
** _I thought you were kidding about that._

 **(18:10) from queenie:  
** _i told you_

 **(18:11) from queenie:  
** _i cant be with someone unless they laugh at my jokes_

 **(18:15) to queenie:  
** _Laughing at your jokes shouldn't be the only requirement for a date with you, Chloé._

 **(18:15) from queenie:  
** _stop being cute_

 **(18:16) from queenie:  
** _its gross._

-x-

 **(13:42) from chloé:  
** _so how do you feel about meeting the words third sexist woman_

 **(13:42) from chloé:  
** _tho it should still really be first_

 **(13:43) to chloé:  
** _You're late._

 **(13:44) from chloé:  
** _fucking chill man_

 **(13:44) from chloé:  
** _im in traffic_

 **(13:45) to chloé:  
** _Do you want me to order for you?_

 **(13:55) from chloé:  
** _no itll get cold_

 **(13:55) from chloé:  
** _order for me when im there_

 **(13:56) from chloé:  
** _so i can look pretty at the table_

 **(13:56) from chloé:  
** _and you can see what youre missing_

 **(13:58) to chloé:  
** _We're getting coffee._

 **(13:59) from chloé:  
** _call it a date you coward_

 **(13:39) to chloé:  
** _You might not like me in person._

 **(14:00) from chloé:  
** _ive known you for over half a year_

 **(14:01) from chloé:  
** _im pretty sure i like your weird ass nath_

 **(14:02) to chloé:  
** _I'm quieter in person._

 **(14:02) from chloé:  
** _youre quiet texting_

 **(14:03) from chloé:  
** _i send like three more texts to your one_

 **(14:03) from chloé:  
** _im prepared to do all the talking_

 **(14:03) from chloé:  
** _we can talk about me_

 **(14:05) to chloé:  
** _Your favourite subject._

 **(14:06) from chloé:  
** _this is why im meeting you_

 **(14:06) from chloé:  
** _for your famous one liners_

 **(14:08) to chloé:  
** _So what made you decide to stop being so mysterious?_

 **(14:09) from chloé:  
** _you showed me how good you are with your hands_

 **(14:12) to chloé:  
** _I hate you. I choked on my drink._

 **(14:13) from chloé:  
** _thats what you get for ordering without me?_

 **(14:13) to chloé:  
** _Oh, no. Not the punctuation._

 **(14:14) from chloé:  
** _i hope you choke again_

 **(14:15) to chloé:  
** _That's just rude._

 **(14:17) from chloé:  
** _do you know whats fucking rude_

 **(14:17) from chloé:  
** _i got you thousands of followers_

 **(14:18) from chloé:  
** _and you havent even said thank you_

 **(14:20) to chloé:  
** _I'm busy being intimidated. Some are already asking me about commissions._

 **(14:21) from chloé:  
** _make that cash so you can pay for some of our dates_

 **(14:23) to chloé:  
** _Plural? We haven't even had one yet._

 **(14:25) from chloé:  
** _stop being insecure_

 **(14:25) from chloé:  
** _i think youre cute_

 **(14:26) from chloé:  
** _and that means a lot coming from me_

 **(14:27) to chloé:  
** _When you say it like that, it loses the meaning._

 **(14:28) from chloé:  
** _wait until you see my smug face_

 **(14:29) to chloé:  
** _I'm a bit terrified, honestly._

"Nathaniel."

Startled, he looked up from his phone, lips parting silently as he saw Chloé standing in front of them. As he hadn't watched interviews of her online, it was his first time hearing her voice, but at least he recognised her immediately; it would've been hard to mistake someone who's pictures he'd been recreating for weeks.

He stood up, chair making a scraping noise on the floor, and nervously put his phone away into his pocket as he replied, "I—hi."

With the flat shoes that she was wearing, she came up to his nose. From all the joking that they'd done, it felt a whole lot real when he was able to see her mannerisms and connect them to the sharp comments that he'd been reading for so long. Putting a face to his closest friend had been confusing at first, but even more so when he saw her in motion.

Her smile reached her blue-coloured eyes as she laughed, tucking some hairs behind her ear as she did so. "You're just as awkward as I expected."

"Sorry?"

"And tall, so sit down," Chloé said, gesturing to his chair. "Let me go get our drinks first. I already ordered while texting you, so it won't be too long."

In the time she was gone, collecting a tray with two mugs on it, he realised what was different about her. There was a softness that he hadn't seen in most pictures; make-up less dramatic, hair not curled or styled perfectly, nor was she dressed in stiff clothing that wouldn't look good outside of a shoot.

When she returned, Nathaniel quietly thanked her as he accepted the drink, surprised to find that it was his favourite.

She was looking at him with raised eyebrows when his gaze flickered back to her. "What?" Chloé demanded, adjusting the sunglasses on top of her head. "I'm perfectly capable of remembering things."

He snorted. "You forgot Sabrina's birthday."

"That's because she's evil," she muttered, continuously stirring her drink with the small spoon they'd been each provided with. "And I like you, unlike her. She's a peppy spawn of pure evil that's frustratingly positive all the time."

There wasn't any difference between what she was saying and what she'd usually type to him. "I'm sure she'd be happy to hear that."

"She's happy even if I tell her to fuck off," Chloé scoffed. "Anyway, I don't want to talk about her today. I'm here to see whether you're capable of being with me."

He blinked. "I don't know what you mean with that."

"You said I need more requirements for dating than just laughing at me jokes, so I thought of some," she said matter-of-factly, lifting her mug up with two hands and taking a sip. "Are you ready to hear them?"

It wasn't that intimidating, surprisingly. When he'd thought of sitting across from Chloé Bourgeois, it had made his stomach churn uncomfortably, but from actually talking to her, it wasn't that nerve-wracking. Sure, he was anxious as always, but the things she was saying were reassuring him that he hadn't come out to meet a stranger; she was his friend, even if her jawline was sharp as her words.

Nathaniel cleared his throat. "Okay?" It came out sounding like a question. "I mean, yes."

Holding a hand up, Chloé slowly raised one finger as she looked at him. "Well, for one, they have to be clean."

He didn't know whether that was supposed to be a jab or not, but he didn't have to look down to check whether there was paint on his clothing—he'd made sure there wasn't beforehand.

"Their hair has to be presentable, too." A second finger went up. "Having a hairband on their wrist would be nice."

His was clearly visible from the lack of a jacket in the summer weather.

"Have to have a talent of some sort; being good with their hands would work—"

Nathaniel felt his face growing warm as he interrupted her to ask, "Are you doing this on purpose?"

"Oh, that blush is nice." She grinned, hands dropping to cup her mug for the unnecessary warmth.

"You're the worst," he replied with a laugh, running a nervous hand through his hair,pushing the long fringe aside. "I already told you that I get flustered easily."

She nodded, the smug smile still there. "Yes, but you didn't tell me that your ears go red, too."

"Is that really important?" Nathaniel asked, a bit surprised that she'd noticed immediately. "It doesn't happen often."

"Oh?" The corner of her eyes crinkled. "It's a special occasion that I was able to see it, then?"

He leaned back against the seat. "You're being very predatory right now."

Chloé laughed, the sound a bit high-pitched. "I'm trying to flirt with you, asshole."

Glad that he hadn't been drinking at that moment, Nathaniel fidgeted in his seat as he admitted, "I wasn't sure."

"We're on a date for a reason," she easily replied, taking a sip of her drink, looking composed and not at all embarrassed, a complete contrast from him. "Now that you know that I'm real, I want our second date to be somewhere private."

His voice came out a bit strangled as he repeated, " _Second_?"

"What?" She batted her eyelashes on purpose. "There's only so many ways I can make you blush in public before it's classed as indecent. I'd rather avoid the scandal, thank you."

"We haven't even finished our first," he pointed out. "And what if you don't want to—"

Chloé interrupted him with a pointed look as she crossed her arms. "I already know you, Nathaniel Kurtzieberg."

"It's even _worse_ when you say it!" he exclaimed, an incredulous laugh escaping him.

"See? Look at that," she said, raising her eyebrows. "Just because I don't know what you sound like when you stub your toe doesn't mean you're a completely mystery."

The same could be said for her, but the doubtful thoughts were still justified. "I'd rather you never hear that."

"Oh, I will eventually." She grinned, pushing her chair back—no awful squeaking like he'd had—and approaching his side of the table as she fished out her cell phone. "Now take a picture with me, Nath."

"What?" he spluttered, a bit surprised from the sudden change of subject. "Why?"

She rolled her eyes, pushing him further over his chair so he was only taking up half of it. Her thigh was touching his as she settled down and said, "So I can show my followers my new boyfriend."

"...There's a serious lack of asking going on here," Nathaniel muttered quietly, aware of how his complexion must've looked as their shoulders touched as well from her trying to find a good pose.

She patted his thigh. "That doesn't sound like rejection to me."

"It's more like I'm convinced this is a fever dream, honestly," he replied.

"Would I convince you this is real if I kissed you?" Chloé asked, head tilted as she turned to look at him with a smile. "Because I can definitely do that."

He tried not to laugh as he said, "I don't kiss on the first date."

"I'm still kissing your cheek for a photo," she answered, not sounding put off. "Now smile and look like a functioning human being for a bit."

Her lips felt cool against his cheek.


End file.
